The Story of Sister Dominica

Asslamualikum

Hi, My name is Dominica (Nikki), I am a 40 year old female widow, that lives in the USA, Ohio. As a kid my Mom raised us to believe in One God, but we were not Muslim. We did not eat pork, but we were not Jews. My mother has since passed, but her teachings stuck with me. We went to church, but my Mom always said pray to God only. She was a big reader of the Holy Bible, Old testament, and use to tell us as kids, that man has tampered with it, but God has put his clues here and there for his people. I don’t know where she got all her thinking, but I’m glad she had it. I went to Baptize schools, where they would say my sister and I were products of a sin. (we were biracial, my Mom is black, and my dad white).
So as you could see I did not think they had the right religion. I can remember praying as a child, asking God why I cannot believe in Jesus as God? But for some reason I could never.
I stopped going to church for a long time after school. I went back as an adult in my early 30s. I even joined a church, but I always prayed to God, saying, that I just wanted a place to worship him. So every time I went to church I had to say this prayer to God, to let him know I was only praying to him, not Jesus.
I did eventually go to a Mosque to study, but the Muslim men I worked with, and knew, would brag how many wives they could have. That just turned me off. And when I went I did not feel very comfortable because of all the nationalities that seemed to have clicks, and the only Muslims I knew at the time were men. So I only went to a few classes. I stopped going. I look back on this, and say going to the Mosque is not user friendly.
You cannot just walk off the street, you have to know things, (how to dress, and why the prayers are in a different language than your own) or you will really feel like you don’t fit in. I could never really get into the church thing either. But I wanted to be close to God.
I became a foster parent when I turned 35, (we, in the USA, have a lot of black older children in foster care, and up for adoption). So I became a foster parent. I had 2 kids, that ended up staying with me for 5 years, and came up for adoption, and because I knew they would just stay in the system, and be moved from home to home, I adopted them, 2 years ago. They are now 13, and 12. Right before the adoption, I got married, and my husband was going to adopted them with me, even though I had them before he came in my life. He was a very good man. He died 10 weeks after we got married, a heart attack in bed.
Everything went down hill from there. The kids with their background, losing their family, through foster care, and now losing what was the closest thing to a dad that they knew, went off the deep end. And I did too. It was a bad time for us. I began to drink wine at night to sleep, and I began to drink more. I desperately need God in my life, but with the drinking, I thought I would not be clean enough to even ask God for help. I did go through with the adoption, and then I got some help for the drinking. I had a real hard time not wanting to drink, until this 1 prayer I prayed, I remember this prayer!
It was this past year. I remember telling my kids, that they would not make 1/2 the mistakes in life they would make, if they just listen to their mother. Then I thought about that when I said my prayers that night, I would not make 1/2 the mistakes I made if I gave my will over to God. And let God run my life.
I prayed that night to God, and I told him, I don’t care if I never have a husband again, I don’t care what material things I have in this world, I just want you in my life, and your Will not mine. I had said prayers like that before, but this time I really meant it. I did not care about anything on this earth at that time, but God.
Since that prayer I have not wanted a drink since.
Then came a friend I knew a long time, he had been checking on me about once a month since my husband had died, he knew us both before. He asked me if I would be interested in learning about Islam. I told him how I felt before when I studied that short time, but I would read the Quran. I read the Quran, and then I took my Shahadah!
Thank God Almighty, I am a Muslim. I have only been a Muslim since July 19th 2002, but I can say this, it is the most peaceful I have ever felt in my life! I know I have a lot to learn, but what I can say, is I have a place to worship the One and Only True God, Allah. This is my story, Praises be to Allah! I cannot Praise God enough! God is Great!