Ideal Partner of A Physically Challenged Person -Kazi Falguni Eshita
I’m not someone who always wanted a Prince Charming. I don’t want to be the type of woman who needs a man, but I’d rather be the type of lady a man needs. I’m definitely looking for a man with an attractive personality. My man should keep me neither below his shoes, nor on top of his head, but just beside him.
grew up in a collective society with high family values. Hence, I can’t just go out there and find a partner for myself. I have to find someone who my family approves of, and vice versa. Bangladesh does approve of love marriages. Unfortunately, I’ve also seen people cutting all family ties with their parents, because those parents did not approve of the partner their child chose. Quite often, grooms are chosen by parents, and the children fell in love afteran arranged marriage.
Age and religion are also important factors when it comes to marriages. Society will not accept with an open heart if a Muslim marries a Hindu or a Christian. Rarely, religion is overlooked, though. Usually, the groom is a little older than the bride, (sometimes, he can be a lot older, like my parents, they’ve been married for about 50 years now, and they are ten years apart).
Personally, I’d want consummate love: intimacy, passion and commitment in my life. (fig:10.2, Interplay, page 327). I know conflicts are going to arise, but solving those conflicts should not be troublesome. I don’t always want my way or his way to solve conflicts, but I’d rather create one unique our way to solve our problems.
Problem with the one I’d want as my partner is, that he is a little below me in terms of education; and that’s a very important thing to my family. I have stumbled many times in my academic life due to health issues, but I was always encouraged to get back up on my feet and gain knowledge, no matter what.
Whereas, this man is always a bit demotivated when I ask him to educate himself. He tends to give up very easily, and there are some other things I can never agree with. Even then, I know no body is perfect. We’ve been best friends for years, which definitely counts.
There’s something that always bothered me before, growing up in a country like Bangladesh. I was born premature, with a partially challenged body. My physical flaw does not hinder any of my daily activities. It’s an everyday opportunity, a battle I always enjoy. But the Bengali society can make a huge fuss out of it. Oh, that one? Why? She’s nothing but a cripple. No matter where I went, whatever I did, the word cripple never left my side. It took me a very long time to accept myself the way I am.
So for me, an ideal partner should be that ONE man (I have only one heart, so that can be given to only one) who would not even dare to utter the word cripple. I am willing to accept someone in a wheelchair (if he can see, hear and talk, he’s enough for me). To me, it’s the INSIDE that counts. I don’t want a handsome face, but I’d definitely want a handsome heart, a heart I can always keep connected with mine.