Blue to Blue – Msf Sadib
Relapsing to writing, on my familiar old hard brownish notebook means coming back for the same daft circle of existence that I’ve always thrived for. I know yet again that I’m trying to hide myself from my dreaded draped entity. For now, the country is turning for the worst. Again I’m enclosing myself within my very own despondency. Until somehow a blue hue that had leapt through my window out of nowhere. The shimmering blue turned into this giant flat plane. I’m wondering if I’m really in my state of reality. Tracing from my subconscious mind I started walking along the blue horizon. It was a crystal blue cluster. Perhaps not the kind of blue that you would loose yourself into. Often I hear people’s fantasy about blue being the color of depression and I’m gonna confess that it surges my rancor. It’s just the sombre notion of blue that they’ve conjured up, upon which I ponder on. I know that even some of the renowned intellectuals also vibrates in that same notion. Unlike that sombre, there’s so much emotion to add to blue. But like I said It’s my daft mind talking. So yeah probably arguing won’t help that much. Don’t ever bother to fathom blue that way now that I’m in this vivid necromancy. Right at this moment, the only thing I want is to walk in a decrepit motion in this blue meadow. Neither bothered nor enchanted. Just drowning beneath this crystal lust. Perplexed, I noticed that. Enormous Black cracks that have started to appear in this wholesome blue. Cracks that are as black as asphalt. Like some ominous, trying to devour some silent bold illusion. The illusion of blue sedentary on my abrupt mind. I don’t know what I’m seeing. They started chanting “To deceive yourself is the greatest illusion. And you’ve let yourself through it.” okay so that’s how this majestic blue knew where to find me. Those black crackles really have started to demystify me, horrify me. Like they’re some thousands scar mimicking my aches. “Pain is the only thing that truly last. You want happiness you will bump into it at one point only to find that it’s to be withered away soon. Absolution that rumbles, aches by happiness, is not signifying eternity” echoed the smothering cracks. I’m bewildered, shutting my eyes to feel my familiar blue. I started calling out for my sanity, Trembling with fear that I’ll loose it. I know that this blue plane is destined to fall apart and as silent shall follow I’ll still try to put an ease on my connection with this blue. Like a blasphemy touch from one blue to another blue. n
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