Emotions and Us Kazi Falguni Eshita
Anger, joy, or sadness: These emotions are always part of life, especially for a female. Is it always wise to show your emotions? Or is it better to conceal them?
Anger is the most destructive force of them all. You should never take important decisions while angry; because that might make you regret for the rest of your life.
In my opinion, even anger can be expressed in a calm way. Being angry and shouting at the top of your lungs won’t help. Rather, you would make yourself ill. Besides, extreme anger can lead to self-harm too. I have seen people banging their heads on hard surfaces; as they were angry. What exactly would you gain from doing that? After all, who wants to tend to an injured head as a result of being angry? There is a common saying in Bangla: “Rege gelen, to here gelen”( If you’re angry, you’ll become a loser).So, before doing something dramatically destructive,ask yourself: “Do I really need to be a loser?”
Joy or happiness is an emotion that can be doubled if you celebrate it with dear ones in your own way. Happiness can be hidden in the simplest of things like in an unexpected random act of kindness; or in the fragrance of your favorite flower. Appreciate the little blessings of life. Be thankful for the food on your plate, or the roof on your head. Once your mind becomes happy, your body will become more active immediately.
A baby can only communicate through tears. Children cannot communicate properly before they learn words. This remindsme of a TV commercial I had watched many years back, which left a significant impact on me:
The advertisement showed various situations where males were weeping for different reasons. Those boys were being taunted by other people around: “Hey, ladke rote nahihai” (Boys don’t cry). One such male, who grew up listening to boys don’t cry, would beat up his wife in the most brutal way possible, to get grief away from his mind. Later on, by the end of the advertisement, it was stated that mothers should teach boys : “Acche
Ladke rulate nahi hai” (Good boys don’t make others cry), instead of the statement mentioned previously.
Some people can make tears flow, others can swallow it. Tears are not something meant for women only. Some males think it might not be manly to let tears out. Dear men, it is far wiser to let tears out when you are around someone loving and trustworthy, there’s no shame in it.
It is not always proper to display your emotions everywhere. You should know the proper place to show; or hide. There are some ways through which you can control overflowing emotions all by yourself:
Walk away : Get away from any anger-provoking situation as fast as you can. If you are sitting, lie down for a few minutes.
Grab a cool drink: Cold beverages not only quench thirst, but they can also cool off an angry person. So, go grab a glass of iced tea or just plain cold water to melt anger off your system.
Pray: Your mind will find peace knowing Allah has heard your desperate call after you’ve shed tears in sujood. Allah helps those, who help themselves. It is clearly stated in the Holly Quran: “Remember me, and I’ll remember you.”
Get creative: Being creative can be therapeutic. Get a box of colors, a new needlework; or even go make a new dish in the kitchen. These simple activities can distract your mind from negative emotions, and gradually generate a comforting heat of happiness in your heart.
Look before you leap: If there’s a person behind your anger or sadness, try to step in his/her shoes for a little while. You might not be aware of his/her own struggles, you can only hear the stories, but you can never feel what the other heart feels. Keep all the judging away, and it will be a lot easier to be happy.
Apologize:This applies to both men and women. If you’ve made a mistake, or if you think your words or actions might have hurt someone, please let go of your ego and say sorry. One sorry can mend huge rifts between people.
Forgive: This goes hand in hand with apologizing. You might be angry on someone, but don’t let that anger become a lifelong grudge. Everyone’s heart deserves peace. A grudge is certainly too great a burden to bear.
It is not so too hard to become a balance of logic and emotions. You just have to: “eat half, walk double, laugh triple and love without measure”- (Tibetan proverb).