Degeneration of Love

Mohabbat Morshed

Love‘’The best and most beautiful thing in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart’’
-Helen Keller

Love, a feelings dealing with deep emotional outburst, finds its root in the core of the human heart and later on, develops and takes a concrete shape inside the mind. As Helen Keller clearly points out that love is something that is not tangible rather it deals with the refined emotions and feelings of the heart that speaks of the supremacy of the soul. Love, for its irresistible influence upon human minds, has always drawn the attention of people including both aristocratic and mass people.
I came to know from the aged people of my acquaintance that there was a time when lovers used to share their feelings and transmit romantic messages through pigeons. One may refute it in this way that people got accustomed to such metaphysical communication as that age was not facilitated with modern amenities as it is today. But I think people if those aged people are still asked to choose a sweet and romantic medium for exchanging heart feelings, they would probably yearn to go back to that old but heart-soothing process instead of digital love of this twenty first century.
The notion of love has transcended through centuries to the following generations but the forms of love have experienced profound changes both in ideologies and means as every generation has harboured new notions about love in their mindset.
Years ago, the world was not so blessed with technologies and so, people used to meet their beloved very rarely and their eyes were means of commuting to each other. The young generation may sort such love tedious but it was not like that at all rather that love was true in the sense and their love was beyond any doubt regarding moral integrity.
In the later periods, lovers started communicating their feelings through letters. Penning epistle using romantic languages and dictions drawn from the core of the heart was really something appeasing though young generation may consider this out-dated. Moreover, relations in that age have lasted longer wherein presently relations are very transient and commercial in a sense. Again the lovers were more committed and devoted to each other than us whereas youths, in this age, prefer frank and fancy free relationship to commitments.
With the advancement of technology and passage of time, we are now standing in 21st century when love has taken a U-turn in its styles and conventions. Young generation has transfigured love into such a form which is infused with hues that instigate abrupt excitement inside but without permanence. Love is also now defined in our society in several ways like time-pass love, cyber love, facebook love, mobile love etc. Couples now-a-day sometimes simply make fuss and waste time in the name of emotional attachment.
Love is now very much related to money and pleasure rather than having a soul to soul appeal and such notion is pervading into people of all ages. The other day, I was strolling in Dhanmondi Lake in the evening to freshen myself and I was bewildered by the prevalent scenario there as there were couples all around keeping almost no space in between them as if there was not adequate space available there to sit maintaining the decent level. I immediately made my way back to my apartment as there were very few people walking alone like me and it is not like that I am the only person who faced such a awkward situation rather a number of people are happening to handle such condition every now and then. The motivations behind such love are so far cryptic which is not feasible to comprehend by mass people but the intentions and aftermaths of modern love are transparent and crystal clear to young generation. They can easily perceive the outcomes of such love but they pretend to be completely oblivious of those and in contrast, they exhibit irrepressible feelings about love to all through their irreverent attitude to traditional love values.
Moreover, sometimes their feelings, hectic in nature, ascend to insanity which consequently leads them to that emotion that is mostly accompanied by sensuousness. Such specific kind of attitude has been put in plain words by science. Robin Dunbar, professor of evolutionary psychology, clarifies in this way-‘’When people are in love, the emotional bits of their brain are very active, lighting up. But other bits of the brain that are in charge of more sensible thinking are much less active than normal because love releases certain chemicals in our brains.’’ He further adds-‘’One of the chemicals is dopamine, which gives us a feeling of excitement. Another is called oxytocin and seems to be responsible for the light-headedness we feel when we are with the person we love.’’
Again, love without money is totally beyond imagination in this pesky world as girlfriends are white elephants. Roaming around here and there rain or shine, keeping girlfriend always jocund by gifting splendid and obviously precious gifts, feasting girlfriend’s companions with sumptuous food in the posh restaurants are part and parcels of a love affair wherein all of these activities are pompous and if someone is enthusiastic about such business, he must possess a healthy wallet.
Love, says Lord Dewar, is an ocean of emotion surrounded entirely by expenses. And it is for our kind acknowledgement that such profligate spending is not at all auspicious for us as well as young generation rather such attitude is really ominous for all of us. Young generation had better inculcate in their minds that they should not squander money in this way for momentary pleasure and at the same time they should cease believing in hedonism.
In some cases, there is not a scintilla of truth in their love but the lovers display inexhaustible zeal for their beloved which sometimes reach the scabrous level. If they are so passionate about love, they at best can go for oblique approaches avoiding ocular styles that will be obtrusive. In addition to this, if they employ that same obsequious effort for some other purposes, it would hold young people back from being irredeemably spoilt.
I would like to suggest all to prioritize reason to drive their emotion otherwise one may face the oblivion and all his dreams may get shattered into pieces. Francis Bacon, the most renowned English essayist, also opines in this way-The stage is more beholding to love than the life of a man, in life it does much mischief, sometimes like a siren, sometimes like a fury.
Nevertheless, one may definitely let love enter into his heart but if it is bestowed liberally upon all in general in lieu of someone, it would obviously help shelling out the pitfalls of a man’s character and turning oneself into a benign person. There is in man’s nature, Francis Bacon further states in his essay ‘ Of Love’, a secret inclination and motion towards love of others, which, if be not spent upon someone or few, does naturally spread itself towards many, and makes men become humane and charitable.
Youths with pizzazz and verve should abstain from letting themselves flow in the way of corrupt love because both the parents and the nation expect a lot from them. Meanwhile, there are still many young people who are pursuing true love and we all should follow those footsteps to take ourselves out of the muddle.
(The writer is an English Literature student at Northern University Bangladesh)

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