Killing cat on Honeymoon Night

Md. Hafijur Rahman

Continued from Previous Issue
A  few months elapsed. The marriage proposal of Ala was conveyed to the lady. She was very happy but did not share her feelings with anybody else. One day she took Ala and Bhola to visit her agricultural land. Their teacher Shishama accompanied them. It was miles away. They were taken there by a car. One can comfortably sit in the car with his/her oxygen cylinder on the back. When they reached there Ala and Bhola were stunned. The farm land seems to be unending. Ala and Bhola found that in the plants unnumbered capsules, tablets, syrups and juice have grown like a toasted paddy. The wide field seemed to be an engraved bed cover. With the permission of the lady they plucked some of the bottles of juice and syrup and swallowed them. The lady was glowing in happiness. Then Ala and Bhola were taken to the tree-land. They saw there how trees are producing chair, table, almira, plank and other varieties of furniture. They also saw laptop, cell phone, television set, glasses, cars, buses, trucks, trains, ships and planes have been growing on big plastic and steel trees. Steel and plastic trees have grown together interwoven. Trees producing ships have been planted closer to a big lake. There are big sheds where vehicles and airplanes are stored. Labourers are working there day and night with so many tools and machines to collect the mature drugs and refined vehicles. Those tools and machines also grow on trees.  Trees are named after their products. Ala and Bhola got opportunity to talk to one or two laborers. All are women and they were very much courteous. Their names were also very interesting like Doctor Poladu, Engineer Frasoan, Industrialist Gatebill, Taycoon Bambagila, Politician Hushfush, Minister Madon Mohon, Researcher Roger, Scorer Shawlin, Celebrity Paga etc. They all were saluting them along with their landlady.  They passed the whole day there and ate so many things- pizza, hot dog, sandwich, chocolate, ice-cream etc. They were fantastically fresh and delicious. They had a lot of fun there. Towards the evening the lady took them to lake adjacent to a hill and pointing her pointed finger at a distant hill she showed the place from where Ala and Bhola were rescued. A fountain flows down the hill. There were some lamp trees which started burning as evening approached. It’s a scenic view.

The lady told the teacher cum servant to make arrangement to go for home. Then she asked Ala and Bhola how they came to this country. Ala was going to open his mouth but Bhola stopped him because Bhola knew he would tell her the truth. “Actually, we were on a pleasure trip by a seaplane but some defects were detected in the engine and it needed a crash landing. It was going down and down and to unload the plane the pilot decided to drop us. The parachute could not save us as we were stranded on trees. Our parachute got defunct and we rolled down to this side of the hill” said Bhola.

“Ok, you can speak so nicely.”
“Thank you ma’am.”
“How does your country look like? Like ours?”
“Actually, our country is more beautiful than yours.”
“Really, then I must visit your country one day. I wonder whether you are speaking the truth but you are a true patriot. ”

Then they were taken to garments trees and they were asked to choose dress for them.  They hardly found any garment for gents there.  After much search the teacher found a type of garment which was worn fastening round the waist like the Chinese people and two short pieces of clothes which are placed over the shoulder and tucked into the west clothe. They were looking fantastic. It was taken.  The lady finished giving her doctors-industrialists cum labourers tips, incentives, bonus and salary. Fifteen days later they were going to celebrate one of their festivals countrywide. Then Ala and Bhola were taken to the jewelry trees. They collected rings, bangles, necklace and many other ornaments whatever they can. For Ala and Bhola gold necklace, gold ring, silver bracelets, diamond chest guard, and platinum crown were collected. Ala and Bhola were held spellbound while observing the art of collecting those ornaments. Bureaucrat Simpin, a very experienced farmer labour helped them collect those. She was unfolding the hard petals of the flowers of jeweler-trees with a tool like pliers in her hand and was very carefully collecting precious gold, diamond, pearl and coral ornaments.   She was selecting those flowers which were mature and which were something exceptional and brilliant. Having seen every ornament the lady became very happy and thanked Bureaucrat Simpin.
“Sir may I buy anything low for your special guests! I must search out the best of the best.”
“Ok teacher, tell the driver to get the car ready.”
“Sir it’s already ready.”
“Then let’s move, boys.”
Ala and Bhola nodded.

The lady had an exclusive closed-door talk with the Queen of the country about Ala and Bhola. The Queen told the lady to display them on the festival night ‘bogus-boo’. The festival was telecast live across the country. There the queen would introduce Ala and Bhola as guests of honour. Bogus-boo is a festival when people make promise and commitment to each other, to their family members, relatives and friends whether right or wrong, true or false. It is a night of wish fulfillment. The night is celebrated throughout the country and was marked by acrobatic performances. The acrobatic show was followed by signing bilateral agreements and treaties with foreign delegates. Her cabinet helps the Queen in all respects. At that night the Queen was to satisfy both the people and foreign delegates. Ala and Bhola were informed everything and were trained up what to do or not to do on the festival night. The teacher had to work a lot with Ala and Bhola. Ala did not think much about what was going to happen but Bhola made a plan what to say if he was going to get a chance to say something on the festival night. They were specially dressed up and were taken to the capital city one day before the festival night. There they had a meeting with the queen and her cabinet. The ministers were very much pleased to talk to Ala and Bhola. Queen Spakubai made a plan how to introduce those guests. On the news channels the news of two VIP guests were telecast again and again and in print media it was published recurrently. Therefore, on the Wish Fulfillment Night the attention of the people centered round those two foreign guests. When it came the turn of the queen to deliver her speech she said, “Today we are very much lucky that this year we have got two very special, VIP guests coming from Bangladesh. In our country hardly any foreign guests come because of environment pollution and the oxygen cylinder they are to carry after coming to our country. But you will be happy to know that these two guests do not have any prejudice like other guests we received in our country in the past. They love our country and they want to boost up trade and commerce with our country. They are staying here for last six months and are observing in which sector we can develop our bilateral relations through trade and commerce. Not only that within six months they have learnt our language quite perfectly. So, we welcome and congratulate them. On this great occasion I wish you a happy and prosperous life in future. Before concluding my speech I request our guests to tell a few words for the audience and the people. Now Mr. Bhola, the special representative, will deliver his speech. Thank you everybody. Thank you all for your patient hearing.” The queen’s speech was loudly cheered by the audience.

“Her Excellency, the Queen of Kamrup Kamakhya, honourable ministers, dignitaries, farmers, dear people. I can simply say I love, I love this country. I feel this is my motherland. Even I can die for you and for the country. And my fellow Ala must have the same feeling.” The audience shouted so loudly that Bhola stopped his speech at regular interval. “Well as you have already heard we are from Bangladesh. Actually, we are on a special mission, the mission is nothing but to explore new field to extend our relationship through trade, commerce, and to offer our help in agriculture, culture, arts and tourism. If we can do so people of both countries will be benefited. You can export juice plants, steel plants, garments plants, and your staple food. Your staple food is used as drugs in my country. And you can import male sperm, flesh, meat, eggs, fruits, and vegetables from our country. For importing all these items from my country- your people that means industrialists, plant engineers won’t lose jobs rather they will earn more. But those industrialists who work very hard and still earn almost nothing and live in the city slums will no longer remain poor. The most important thing what I want to say is that your Queen is a very wise person. The queen has a plan to allocate all industrialists, doctors, engineers and professional of all other sectors some cultivable land. If your support remains with her you will see very soon we will discover walking plants. Those walking plants will not only produce goods for us but also will reach those our house. I hope under her able leadership very soon honey and milk will flow through every river. She will make your country a paradise. All these days you have only heard about paradise but now you will witness it.  What I hope we the neighboring countries will live in peace and prosperity. I love you. Thank Your Excellency very much to give the opportunity to say a few words before you.”

The queen’s cabinet applauded Bhola’s speech formally. The queen was surprised noticing that Bhola was saying exactly what she herself wanted to say to her people. Bhola’s eloquent speech planted the seeds of love and respect in her for him. She thought of marrying Bhola. Her popularity was on the wane. But the barometer of her popularity went high after Bhola’s speech. She thought of marrying Bhola to make her power permanent. So, an astrologer was called to fix a date. The marriage ceremony took place on a nice day. The same day the landlady married Ala and the queen married Bhola. All the people of the country except the opposition party were invited to the wedding ceremony. The whole of the country indulged once again in a mood of festivity. The wedding ceremony continued for seven days. The landlady was made Cylinder Minister. After the hassle and formalities of royal marriage Ala and Bhola got some scope to meet and talk together. There Ala told Bhola that one day he dreamt that his mother was saying if they were gone to a foreign land they would marry a princess. They cried for their mother and offered doa for her departed soul. Anyway Ala and Bhola soon got involved in all royal activities. The rules of the parliaments were made and acts were passed to eliminate the hurdles on their way to royal activities. Opposition leaders started raising protest that the Queen is hatching conspiracy to sell the country to foreigners. Meanwhile Ala and Bhola conceived. They started suffered from vomiting, fever and pain.  So, one of the hall rooms in the Queen’s palace was made the hospital. And doctors and nurses started treating them. They discovered that they are carrying child. It may be mentioned here that in almost every house there a doctor is found like a maid servant in our country. And in every house there is a hospital or nursing corner. For treatment no patient is to be taken outside. Rather s/he is treated either by a family doctor or sometimes two more were required to hire from outside. Thousands of people came to congratulate them. But the happiness of Ala and Bhola evaporated. They became utterly frustrated and did not know what to do. They made a plan to fly away from the country but as all time nurses, doctors and maids were engaged in their service, they failed to do that. They attempted to commit suicide but the sympathetic treatment of their language teacher refrained them from doing so. She is the only heart in the country who understood their embarrassing situation. She consoled and helped all the way until they give birth to two babies. After 10 months and 10 days two babies were born through cesarean section. They were named Agdoom and Bagdoom matching with the names of their fathers. Once again the country got an opportunity for celebration. The celebration of the birth of prince Bagdoom went on for ten days. Ala and Bhola were being highly esteemed everywhere. So they were leading a happy life. But they were in constant fear of being pregnant again. They tactfully started to avoid courting with their counterparts. Meanwhile there happened a political Tsunami in the country. National Clay Casting Day approached and the whole cabinet of the Queen became alert and worried. National Clay Casting Day is celebrated after every ten years. Immediate next year national election is held.  On the National Clay Casting Day the people of the country cast clay to each other.  Political parties buy waste clay from the slum industrialists and engineers to help them financially. Round the year the industrialists and engineers who produce vegetables, meat, eggs, fruits and rice, store trillion tons of waste clay. Previously only rich and fun loving people used to buy and cast clay just to help those helpless industrialists and engineers. But for the last couple of decades the event had taken a political colour. The party which cast more clay is deemed to win the election because about forty percent people of the country dwell in slums. But due to the marriage ceremony and the birth of Agdoom and Prince Bagdoom the Queen and her cabinet could give much attention to this sector. The Queen called an emergency meeting of the cabinet and wanted to know the reason of the lack of preparation for celebrating National Clay Casting Day. The finance minister informed the house that the treasury was almost empty and that was why they could not buy clay. Almost all the clay was bought by the opposition parties. Only some handful few industrialists and engineers who were hardcore supporters of the government did not sell their clay. They were expecting to sell their clay to the government at a high rate.

The Queen sought opinion from her cabinet what policy may be adopted to tackle the situation. “We cannot let our dear enemies to score goals in the empty net. We must invest utmost attention to change the situation.” Opinion of the ministers came but the Queen had her own plan. She knew that almost all the ministers of her cabinet are worthless. So she decided to use Ala and Bhola as her trump card. Ala and Bhola were specially trained up how to manage the bigwigs. Their teacher became a great help for them in this regard. She taught them the custom of the country. They started visiting the houses of all influential landladies, farmers, and dignitaries. They promised to make some of them ministers, and with some of them they pretended to fall in love. They also promised to waiver taxes of the landladies, farmers and dignitaries. So after the country wide tour a huge amount of money was collected. Besides, her existing cabinet contributed so far. The Cylinder Minister herself donated some two billions. However, nobody won or nobody lose on the Clay Casting Day. Next challenge was to win the national election. Ala and Bhola were once again very successfully used by the Queen to plateau her position. They traveled the whole country and delivered speech at many a public gathering. They spoke on sensitive issues. “Dear sisters, our government will disburse loan at the lowest interest rate to set up fish, fruit, meat and vegetable producing industries. Our government has taken a housing project. We are going to enact the Housing Project Bill-2012 in the next session of the parliament The Government will construct and allot a flat free of cost to every slum-dwelling engineer, industrialist and others of weak financial background. Tax holiday will be given on importing duplicate-artificial husbands from the GGK and AASU. We are also thinking of importing human husband from neighboring countries so that you can lead a happy life. Of course, we are also very much conscious that human husbands often create problem. They cheat, betray and quarrel. Even we have reports of physical assault. Still the government will encourage them who are willing to adopt human husbands. Dear sisters and brothers, The Falcon government is your government. This government is committed to fulfill all of your desires. This government reflects your desires. So, you can trust it and hope that you will stand by the Falcon government as you did in the past.” The whole country seemed to be jubilant after they addressed each public meeting. People were full of appreciation across the country. The Queen seemed to be elated. Only one person, the finance minister, remained mute. Narrowly The Falcon won the election. The Queen made Bhola the King and Ala the Minister of Promise. Meanwhile much water flowed through the Ganges. The opposition started blaming the government for selling the country to the foreigners. Gradually the campaign started to gain ground. And there was a revolutionary zeal among the people. The Queen quickly sensed the danger and axed the king, Bhola and enacted a law debarring Bagdoom from being the future king. Bhola started to live a secluded life. The Falcon government survived. The Queen became desperate to fulfill her election manifesto. She invited the prime ministers and presidents of friendly countries to invest in her country.  One of her trusted friends, Sign Hamon, who is also a very powerful prime minister, extended his helping hand in her plight. He promised her to exercise his influence to rally a dozen of prime ministers on the occasion of Wish Fulfillment Night. The Queen left no stone unturned to entertain them. Agreements were signed, the Queen’s speech was done and the banquet was over. Now it was the turn to have closed-door conference with each prime minister and president. All the events are telecast live. The closed-door talks take place in an exclusive room where nobody has an access. It is a taboo. The queen is to enter the room with a bowl of sweet scented oil on the left hand and a lamp on the right hand. This is the custom of the country. Ala was in the charge of hosting and entertaining the guests. He had an emergency talk with the Queen. He opened the door and discovered the queen bending down her knee and hand on a specially made cushion and Sign Hamon at her back. Both were scared. Ala came out of the room slumming the door behind him. He did not dare to pass the night in the Queen’s palace. He called on Bhola and described the awkward situation. Bhola’s face turned pale and consulted the language teacher. She predicted their execution if they were caught. So, they planned for an escape. The language teacher managed a pilot and two speed boats for them. In one speed boat Ala and the pilot and in the other the language teacher and Bhola rode. By the time they reached the border the Queen finished her television talk. “Dear people of my country, today I have stood before you with a saddened heart but I must tell you the truth however painful it is. I’m ashamed to tell you that the axed king, my husband, along with his brother plotted to dethrone me and oust my government. But you will be happy to know that my dear friend, Sign Hamon who is the chief guest of this Wish Fulfillment Night discovered the plot. Fortunately my elite force foiled the cue by taking prompt measure though it was not that easy. Now we are all safe but the culprits are absconding. I wish you to help us to find out the hideouts. I declare two millions for their heads. Emergency has been sanctioned across the country. My dear people I must say sorry to bother you but I hope that you will overlook it for the sake of the nation and for the safety of the government. I hope that you will Inshaallah stand by the Falcon government in future. Your support is the only asset of my government. I conclude by thanking you.” Ala and Bhola were left alone on the border in one speed boat and in the other the language teacher and the pilot journeyed back. They said good bye to each other with tears in their eyes. Ala and Bhola do not know how to drive a speedboat. Moreover, the automatic security cannons started firing on them when they were crossing the border. They were so frightened that they dashed the speedboat against a rocky slope of the river. The speedboat capsized. In the dark Ala and Bhola somehow made their way to the bank of the river. They set their foot on an uncertain future but felt very safe and secure.
to be continued

The writer is a Faculty, Dept. of Languages, International University of Business Agriculture and Technology

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